While everyone else is writing blogposts about their New Year’s
resolutions goals, I’m sitting here in a pile of frustration. Or is it a puddle? I’m not sure which state of matter frustration takes, but there’s plenty around here to make it rough.
Whether it’s been the indulgences of Christmas, the off-routine of our days, or something else, the kids have been less giving, more whiny, more likely to fight and bicker, less likely to comply without an argument, and other obnoxious things. My patience is wearing thin, and I’m feeling swamped by the housework that I work on all the time but it never changes. I took a deep breath this morning, somewhat energized by Hubby’s going back to work (the past two weeks he’s worked 2 1/2 days, then off for the ‘holidays.’). I started homeschooling up again last Monday just because the structure was needed, I thought. I pulled the sheets from the bed, as I do each monday morning, drug them and Baby downstairs, changed and dressed her, got breakfast ready (amid complaints about the menu), coerced children to dress themselves, scrubbed old spilled blueberry smoothie (have you ever had blueberry bits dry on anything? You need a plasma torch to remove them, even from a cup!) from all over the table, swept the not-small pile of Organique’s mealtime cast-offs from beneath the table, and did other early chores. Before breakfast was over, Hubby called from work, to say, “it’s that time of year again.” Huh? What time of year? “The time when they mostly lay us off and send us to get unemployment.” “That’s NOT this time of year! Last year that was at the end of January, or even February!”
But this year it’s now. And the prospect of smaller income right now as we are facing some larger expenses is scary to me. Hubby being home more gives him more time to work on his motorcycles, which usually translates into more ebay purchases of motorcycle parts. His rotation diet has encouraged him to do some crazy purchasing of crazy food that I would *never* buy or be willing to pay for (or eat, for that matter. Squid? Yuck!). All of these things are converging on my psyche to make for a most unpleasant Mama, I’m afraid. And right now I’m just not sure how to deal with it. I pray more, certainly, and read the bible. But half of my conversations turn into arguments (and of course it’s not just my fault!). I’m sinking under the workload of this household this month, and I’m just not sure if or how I’ll conquer it.
The snow is falling outside, and it’s very cold. I’m glad I don’t have to go anywhere, but longing for spring has taken on another meaning these days. 🙂
I’m sorry to be so full of whining. I’ll try to do much better next time I post. In the meantime, if you have any inspiration, I’d be happy to hear it. 🙂