In an effort to properly care for my 37 tomato plants, I have been searching for an article on pruning and training them. The article was in the somewhat-radical Acres USA which I subscribed to last year. Last year’s wind damage caused much confusion on my part… After they died and resurrected, it was hard to determine where the ‘main’ stem was, if it still existed, and which were suckers, etc. I did my best, but there was no matching what I had to the nice diagrams included in the article.

Of all the articles on organic dairying and earthworm raising and peak oil and super-composting, the tomato article was one I knew I could put into action immediately (or, when the wind subsided). I made a mental note to keep that issue on hand (mental note: mental notes are not to be trusted).

I am assuming it is in the June 2007 edition. I assume this because I have located February, March, April, May, July, August, September, October, November December 2007 and January 2008 editions.

I must have put it in The Safe Place.

Do you have one of those? Apparently mine is a worm hole or portal into the fourth dimension, and everything that goes there is sucked out of this reality entirely.

Acres USA is currently working on an online searchable database of all articles. Currently working on won’t help these tomatoes today.

I know, there are dozens of online resources that tell you how to stake or cage your tomatoes, or train them to a wire trellis or canopy or tunnel or fence, or any other of dozens of plans. They’ll also tell you which suckers to pluck, depending on your ‘philosophy’, and whether to let them grow a bit, or leave the ones just below a flower cluster…. and my brain starts to melt right out my ears.

I don’t want to have a philosophy. I just want tomatoes.

The Acres article gave me one idea, and one way to do it — complete with the daggum diagram. I was going to photocopy it, laminate it, and affix it to a pedestal in my garden, like a roadside historic site.

So my tomatoes are getting bushy, my brain is melting, I have no cages or trellises or stakes — and I’m not even sure which varieties are determinate or indeterminate!

*sigh*

Now if I could just put the squash bugs, colorado potato beetles, and morning glory in The Safe Place, I’d feel like we were even.

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