I can’t believe how it sneaks up on you… February and March each have about 90 days, I think, but May has 15. Yesterday evening we were out of town and it was over 100 degrees! A week ago I was wearing a sweatshirt, I think.

My list of Important Things to Do only grows, though I swear I’m always working on it. I’ve been trying for a week to get the garden in completely, and I don’t think I’m half done yet. I’ve done a few rows of seeds, and put my started herbs in back, but my tomatoes, peppers, cabbages, broccoli, and such are still in pots. Still. I can’t put them in the ground until I have a way to water them. We’ve torn the property apart looking for my fancy little laser-perforated soaker/drip hose, and have come to the conclusion that it was among the casualties in the out-of-hand weed burning episode I had a year ago or so. Now to decide if I should spend the $$ for a new one, or figure out something else. I hate broadcast-watering; you’ll never find your produce here if you do that. I think instead of soil we have a layer of weed seeds. One drop of water in the hard-baked driveway each day will grow a 5-foot kochia weed before summer’s end. That is not an anology. I try to water only where I have something I want to grow, and that is sometimes complicated. Always complicated.

We had Trudy slaughtered on Friday morning. The girls watched with interest, though Little Monkey watched the winch haul her carcass vertical and declared, “Ope! Trudy’s a boy now, Trudy’s a boy…” while shaking her head. I tried to explain otherwise, but I think she misunderstood Zeke’s demise; with him we were “only killing the boy one” and now that’s a hard, fast rule.

I am worried about the chicken/garden combination. The chickens are penned in, but a half-dozen or more are out each morning, with a few to escape during the day. I think they simply fly over the electrified netting. I don’t like it when they dig dust-holes in the garden, and now that the seeds have sprouted we’ll be in real trouble. Is there such thing as a Scarechicken? Aside from posting my hubby eternally in the garden, I don’t know that there is. A fence would be handy, but I long for a big, square-ish garden, instead of the long, skinny plot that we have, so I don’t want to fence the long thin one. And we can’t change the shape or location until we change the sprinkler/irrigation layout. And THAT will be a lot of work that I can’t do by myself.

One broiler chick died on Friday. Down to 29. I think these critters are suicidal.

We’ve been out of bread for 2 weeks, I think. I must be lazy and/or covetous; I just haven’t been able to turn out the 2 loaves I usually do. I really want that beautiful Electrolux Mixer. With that (and a few more bread pans) I could do a few weeks’ worth at a time. Yet the price is SOOOO prohibitive! And there is still homeschool curriculum/reading books to be purchasing, possibly a new printer, a tractor tire, midwife bill, fence posts… And I’m not sure what I’ll be wearing if this heat continues (of course it will) and my growth continues (of course it will). I can’t remember what I wore while pregnant with my first September Baby – but then I lived in a house with air conditioning, too… In any case, a $500 mixer is just absurd, when I look at this list.

I need to spend some more time in prayer/the Word; I’m feeling overwhelmed and under-graced, and that is my own fault. I’m noticing more and more where I lack as a wife and a mother, where my husband lacks, where my kids lack, and it circles back to myself in one way or another. I don’t know if that makes sense. When I find negative traits in my kids, I feel responsible (but handicapped). Things like that. I KNOW I’m not anything special, in that many, many women have done as much and infinitely more. They ARE doing as much and more. My situation is not unique, and I must realize that “I can do all things through Christ…” I must realize it and live it.

Daddy took the girls around the field on his honda this evening. I cringe, but I know he is careful with them (though I don’t know how our 5-year-old can hold on so well through those bumps!). They love it, and I cherish any minute they spend with their daddy. He is so quiet, and then when he speaks, it’s often a law-laid-down, and I fear that he will not have their hearts as they grow. Another thing to pray about and put in God’s hands!

Tomorrow I will try to:
Make bread
Situate water – buy hose?
Plant potted plants
Plant squash/cuke seeds
Plant herb seeds
Clean Bathrooms
Mop Floors
Get eggs to a customer, maybe.
Find inspiration in dealing with the girls – they are having attitude and selfishness issues that need trained-out quickly! If only I knew how…!

Tonight; more bible and prayer…